he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
