just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
