it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
