I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
