Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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