who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
