I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
