omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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