Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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