Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My dick has a subreddit
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
