We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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