I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
