Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
