I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
