we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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