he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
