Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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