when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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