woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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