At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
