Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
