I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
