wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
