if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
