she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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