No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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