i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
