she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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