I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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