thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
