I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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