I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
