we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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