It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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