Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
