Do you still have your period?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize