once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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