Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
