Welp...herpes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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