Just fell off a train. Bad.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
