I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
