i just google imaged poop.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
