then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
