plz talk dirty to me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
