Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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