Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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