She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
