I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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