so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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