he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
