So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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