Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
