I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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