If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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