I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize