she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
