Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
