I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
