Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
