Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
